"Here I was born, and there I died. It was only a moment for you; you took no notice."

I just got back from a screening of Alfred Hitchcock's 1958 masterwork Vertigo. I first saw it roughly two years ago and it instantly became one of my favourites. I'm pleased to say that upon rewatching it it was every bit as entrancing as it was the first time and even more affecting (I was worried that knowing the direction the film takes could detract from the experience, but instead it informs the experience in a way that if anything made the film not less but instead more beguiling). So I feel the urge to say a few words about the film. It should go without saying that from here on in there will be spoilers.

In particular I feel the urge to talk about how watching it this second time rendered itself distinct from the first watch. The first time I watched the film part of why I adored it was that it offers this situation which at first you - just like Scottie - think of as absurd: that Madeleine is possessed. And then Scottie (and thus we) follows her around from place to place and slowly he (and we) begin to think that maybe it's true. Just maybe, it sounds silly, but just maybe she is possessed. And then it stops becoming silly. We end up believing without the slightest reticence that she is possessed by Carlotta. If we didn't believe this totally then the look at Scottie's obsession wouldn't be as completely believeable and - when taken in context of how we too believed she was possessed - profound. Here's the thing though, surely second time round the film wouldn't be able to convince us that Madeleine is possessed? After all we know where the plot is going and we know that in fact the truth is there is nothing supernatural at play in the plot.

When I first watched the film one word sprang instantly to mind: seductive. This word sprang to mind for two reasons. First, it defines what happens to Scottie time and time again in the film; he is seduced by the sight of Madeleine, seduced by the idea of rescuing her, seduced by the idea of making over Judy in Madeleine's image. It also describes what we as an audience go through with the film. As Madeleine walks through the graveyard we're drawn in to the dreamy ambience and air of mystery, as the camera (and Scottie) looks at her in the art galery and draws comparisons between her and the painting it is inviting us to believe, and by the time we get to the hotel where Madeleine goes up to her room and seems to disappear: by that point we have no option but to believe. Because yes there's the possibility that she snuck out and that this is all a ruse, but isn't there something so much more appealing about the mystery inherent in the alternative? The film convinces us to believe what we earlier thought impossible, it's the ultimate act of suspension of disbelief. This is why the film remains so effective even second time round: yes I knew its secrets, but I was still just as seduced by the film and its attempts to suspend my disbelief. And so I believed even though I knew I shouldn't.

There's much that can be said about this film, but there's one more thing I'd really like to say about it and about my experience seeing it again. I remember many of the ways I reacted to Vertigo upon first seeing it, and I certainly don't remember it being such an emotional experience. Seriously, rewatching this film I was absolutely floored by how much emotion there is in it. One scene in particular stands out to me: when Scottie is in Ernie's and he sees Madeleine for the first time. In all honesty, I started to cry a bit. Maybe because it's in this moment, when he first sees her, that he starts to become seduced. Because it's in this moment that his future becomes not a possibility but instead in a sense inevitable. As she walks past the shot cuts from her face to his, both their faces identically positioned relative to the camera. And so we become aware that just as he is watching her so too are we watching the film. And so this is the moment that just as he starts to become seduced so too do we start to become seduced.